my mood has been so all over the place these last couple of weeks. the meds aren’t really helping much yet, and I saw my psychologist again for the first time in nearly 2 years 2 weeks ago. I can’t see her helping at all, she really doesn’t help which is a bit disheartening.
my eating is odd lately, too. I cried my eyes out when I found out that paroxetine is the worst anti-depressant for weight gain, so I figured I’d go bat-shit crazy on weight loss again, but I haven’t. I’ve been eating fine, I eat whatever I want without second thought. I can’t decide whether that’s reassuring or concerning.
I think I’ve made up my mind though. I’m going to eat all I want until school finishes in a few weeks, and then start on my diet again. I really miss the sense of purpose that starvation and goal weights gives you. I know that sounds terrible but I really need a sense of direction right now, and I figure that will suffice for a while.
